Online magazines and blogs offer us LOTS of advice.
In Love Spell, which releases June 1st– YES, TOMORROW–the main character, Chance César, learns that we shouldn’t accept all of the advice so freely handed out online as if it was the Biblical truth.
So, I was surfing the net, shopping for online relationship advice—not for myself personally, it was all in the name of research, I promise—and I came across an article that I was compelled to bookmark. You know how you do this every now and then—find something life-changingly amazing online and tuck it safely aside in favorites to study at a later date? Which you may or may not return to… well, ever. And I found a good one. (I mean, this how-to-make-him-love-you article is a sparkling little gem.) And I thought, since Chance César plans his strategy of how to win the heart of the boy he is crushing on around the wisdom he learns from a ficticious online article, I would share parts of this REAL online article with you today.
The article is called “Twelve romantic things to do for your sweetie online” (http://makesweet.com/advice/online/) and I will share with you the highpoints.
I’m okay with tip number one “make an online comic strip” starring you and your partner, but “customize a LOL-cat” with the suggestion below seemed a tad creepy.
Can you say stalker?
Tip number three “show some signs of love” suggests that you shout your feelings about the one you love so loudly that the entire world can hear. Or, in this case, see. As in, read. Because the article suggests you somehow program electronic highway signs with a message of your devotion. That can’t be safe. Or legal.
The next little tip isn’t innocent in any way, shape, or form. In fact, it made all of those little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It says, “send a ransom note” and, conveniently, there is an online ransom note generator that makes this possibility quite achievable. Wisely, the writer of the online blog suggests you do not actually kidnap the one you desire or any of his most treasured possessions.
Yes, this is rather disturbing.
Skip down a few items and you will come to a little tip that I think might scream, “I’m desperate!” (but that’s just one lady’s opinion.) It suggests that you make a power-point dedicated to the awesomeness of the one you love.
I just don’t feel good about the message this sends. I mean, are there really enough hours in the day to set aside time to develop a project like this for a frivolous reason like making somebody near and dear to your heart say, “Awwwwwe”? Are there? Maybe… maybe not. I will respect your opinion, but puh-lease…..
This next one I like. In fact, I like it a lot. “Do some photo manipulation.”
This next little tip is over the top and could get you arrested. “Send unusual email, and lots of it” to the one who owns your heart. I just don’t know about this.
Doesn’t compulsively emailing someone, especially anonymously, constitute some type of harassment? If it doesn’t, it should.
And the last one I will mention is just plain confusing. Combined with seriously annoying. Emily, Chance’s BFF in Love Spell, would call it conoying. And she’d be right. “Rename your mate.” Huh? My simple paraphrasing can’t do this explanation justice so here it is:
“Every day for a week, change the nickname you use for your beloved. The lists online seem rather boring, so here is our own effort: Chuckle-cheeks. Goose-bumps. Pookie-snooks. Poptart. Jiggles McJiggypants. Twinkle-toes. Nuzzle-nose. Snugglepuss. Dumble-dear. Fishbreath…”
You can get some excellent suggestions from online articles with regard to how to conduct yourself in the romance department. But Chance and I would strongly suggest that you consider very carefully the source and the advice, itself, before acting on it.
You can take that to the bank, Fishbreath.
Do you have any examples of BAD ONLINE or IN-A-MAGAZINE LOVE ADVICE?? I’d love to hear them!!